It is said the emotional, verbal and mental abuse is worse than physical abuse. With physical abuse the scars heal but when someone is emotionally wounded these scars can last a lifetime if they are not properly addressed.
Wounded people wound people and so when someone has not healed from their own verbal abuse they continue the cycle by abusing others around them. Parents can wound their children emotionally and then the children go on to would their siblings and their own spouse.
Emotional abuse is not only limited to women. Men can be emotionally abused as well. Especially when it is a male looking for approval from their father and the father is an emotionally abusive person.
The first step to healing is forgiving the abuser and removing yourself from the situation. If you are in a marriage you need to seek Christian counseling as soon as possible. The sooner you can get others involved to establish some kind of accountability, the better.
How do you find spiritual healing for emotional wounds?
First you need to know that these wounds reside in your soul. It is your soul that is wounded and your spirit that is crushed. Just as the words of a person wounded you then the word of God can heal you.
You must meditate on God’s word. This is the key to your recovery. We will give you a list of scriptures to meditate on and then you can use these tips on Meditation to get the scriptures into your soul.
- Degrading and Debasing
- Ridiculing
- Humiliating
- Judging and criticizing
- Isolating
- Dismissing
- Trivializing and undermining
- Withholding emotional support, financial support, spiritual support
- Withholding sex
- Derisive
- Mocking and hurtful jokes
- Condescending looks and comments
- Negative comments on your character and abilities
- Threats of physical abuse, or damage to property, children or pets.
- Name calling
- Manipulative and controlling
At some point we all face these points from our parents, spouse or boss but it becomes abusive when it is a daily or weekly occurrence and it is a combination or one two punch of any of these points over a prolonged period. It is a slow insidious drip over a period of time. And, generally when you are happy about something or making advancement in your spiritual, personal or professional life.
This is an anti progress, anti growth spirit. And, if you do make it to your next level you will be so wounded that you won’t be able to properly perform because of your emotional or self esteem issues.
Actually, if the abuser saw the points above they would deny they are abusive. They would then begin to show you that they are only telling you the
truth for your own good. Completely justifying their actions and behavior.
Verbal Abusers like to make the abusee feel that they will never get better treatment elsewhere because they deserve the abuse, after all it is true. If they can get you to believe this lie you will never leave and then you become the lie. (Proverbs 23:7 New King James Version) “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.”
Again, the first thing is to forgive them and get yourself out of the situation and then seek Christian counseling. If you are married ask your spouse to go to counseling with you. If they refuse then you need to go alone. Just get help. If only to get agreement from the counselor and advise on how to move forward and get healing. This is biblical.
If you can’t afford the counseling, talk to the pastor. In some churches they may have support groups that may also help.
Matthew 18:15-20 New International Version (NIV)
15 “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. 16 But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ 17 If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.
18 “Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.
19 “Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”
Here are some scriptures for meditation:
Psalm 34:18 (NKJV) “The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit.”
Psalm 51:6 (NKJV) “Behold, You desire truth in the inward parts, And in the hidden part You will make me to know wisdom.”
Psalm 139:14 (NKJV) “I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.”
2 Corinthians 3:17 New International Version (NIV) “Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.”
1 John 4:18 “Love will never invoke fear. Perfect love expels fear, particularly the fear of punishment. The one who fears punishment has not been completed through love.”
Psalm 63:3 “Your steadfast love is better than life itself, so my lips will give You all my praise.”
Romans 8:37-39 “But no matter what comes, we will always taste victory through Him who loved us. For I have every confidence that nothing—not death, life, heavenly messengers, dark spirits, the present, the future, spiritual powers, height, depth, nor any created thing—can come between us and the love of God revealed in the Anointed, Jesus our Lord.”
Isaiah 61:1-3 (NIV) “He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.”
Jeremiah 31:3 “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.”
The important thing for you to know is that God LOVES you. You are fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of Jesus Christ. When you truly see yourself as created, accepted, approved and loved by God you will not allow anyone to devalue you or treat you any less than what you are ….a child of the Most High God…a King and Queen in the Kingdom.
Here are the tips for biblical meditation. You will use these tips with the scriptures above to heal your soul.
Prayer for the Abuser
Father God, thank you for leading me to find the help that I need. I first forgive __________ for wounding me emotionally, verbally and mentally. I release ____________ as my first step of faith towards healing. I know that forgiving this person releases me. I ask you Lord to show ___________the error of their ways. Show them how much you love them and heal their wounds so that they will no longer wound others. I pray for everyone that is involved in this abuse ____________________, ______________________, ______________ that you will heal all of them and give wisdom and guidance to each. Send your Holy Spirit to comfort and bring healing. I pray that ________ will be open to going to counseling with me. Speak to their heart and grant them the grace to do the right thing and seek help and healing, in Jesus Name, Amen
Prayer for Emotional Abuse
Abba Father, I acknowledge that I am your child. You made me in your image and I am beautiful. I am accepted, approved and loved by You. Give me the mind of Christ so that I can see myself as You see me. Lead me to all the scriptures in your word that will renew my mind and heal my soul. Bind up my wounds Lord. Renew me. Wash my mind clean of the words and thoughts that are a lie from the enemy. Put a filter on my mind so that I am aware of the things I reflect on. I give myself over to the Holy Spirit to stop me when I’ve given my mind and thoughts over to the enemy. Teach me how to stop the thought process and get renewed and healed. Pour out your balm of Gilead on my wounds and heal me. Heal the deepest hurt in my soul. Even the things that I don’t know needs to be healed. Put every shattered piece of my broken heart back together and heal every scar left from this trauma. In the end may there be no sign of the scars. No scar tissue in the soulish realm. Make my healing complete. Lead me to the right counselor, pastor or church that will help me in the process of restoration. You are a God who brings restoration and healing. Restore me to the joy of Your salvation. Renew a right spirit in me. Make me a new creation in Christ. Thank you for guiding me through this process. I ask that the memories associated with this wounding and trauma be erased. I bind the PTSD associated with these wounds and loose healing. I yield myself to you, in Jesus Name, Amen.
If you feel that you need additional prayer for healing your emotions write it in the comments below. Also, if you have other scriptures that you have used in your healing process, please feel free to share them so that others can be blessed by them.
Remember, you are LOVED with an EVERLASTING love.
Here are some other prayers and bible verses:
My husband has a serious hair fetish, to the point of being almost physically abusive. This is both of our second marriages, as I left a 12 year marriage after having been seriously physically assaulted (four broken bones) when I told my former spouse I was leaving due to his infidelity. So my current husband of almost six years knew going into this marriage that I had some trust issues. Unfortunately, he has repeatedly been caught in small lies and constantly makes up lies about me. He belittles my job (I am a school teacher), my education (I have two masters degrees), my children (I have two teenagers), and my family. We did pre-marital counseling and he lied through the entire process, so much so that my entire family and my pastor felt he was “heaven sent.” He gets angry when I talk to anyone about our issues now and refuses counseling, as he says nothing a counselor would say will make him change what he expects me to do – which has been cutting of the 22″ of hair I had when we dated and keeping my hair clippered to almost nothing for the past several years. He controls my nail color, the thinness of my eyebrows (as in Jean Harlow thin), what I wear, what jewelry I put on, and even what perfume I am allowed to wear. He has manipulated, bullied, and harassed me no matter what I look like, as it is never enough. I have literally had a rope around my neck, hoping to find the courage to kill myself. I have taken excessive sleeping pills, driven up to the hills to drive my vehicle off a cliff, and even taken a loaded gun with me to end it all, but I can’t seem to pull the trigger. I have God to thank for that. I know it is wrong, but I am so beaten down and humiliated by my husband’s complete lack of concern for my feelings. If I leave him, I look like a complete jerk because he is a disabled vet and his former wife left him shortly after he became disabled. He uses his disability to justify all his abuse, saying that he “needs me to do all this and that” to make up for his being in chronic pain. I worry that once my kids are out of the house, the abuse will escalate. I am not in a financial situation to take care of my kids without him and after one failed marriage, the humiliation of another one would push me over the edge. I barely hang on every day to a thread of hope, but each day that thread seems thinner and thinner.
Marie, I’m sorry to hear about what you are going through. This needs more than prayer. It needs action. You need to contact your church and tell them exactly what is going on in your household. Then you need to tell them of your suicidal tendencies. You need to tell as many people as possible in the church. Do not give them the opportunity to say they didn’t know. Tell it. This needs to be exposed. Only the devil lives in darkness. You cannot keep your self in bondage because you have PRIDE based on what people will say. Humiliation is not a fruit of the Spirit. You need to tell the pastors at your church and then you need to ask them to help you find a way out of that situation. Believe me, heaven will not be rejoicing because you never got a divorce but instead killed yourself instead. That is a lie from the pit of hell. Get away from that person with your children, as soon as possible and get emotional counseling. We will be praying for you but this needs more than prayers, it needs action.
I am waiting on the promise of God to bring my husband to that place of higher consciousness that I revealed by Him. I try to be strong and pray against those evil spirits influencing his mind and his poor actions, but he is incredibly emotionally abusive. He needs deliverance. Pray for his deliverance so that we may begin healing our marriage for the sake of our unborn child.
Please pray for my marraige. My husband and I need healing from emotional scars and cycles of pain caused by each other and others. I continually pray and have seen victory but it is short lived.
In need of prayer,
I have been dealing with emotional abuse now for about 10 years in our marriage and we have 4 small children. I am dealing with a very hurt heart. I want for change to come. I feel like seperation may have to be a temporary solution. I need help in prayer. I dont want to fight anymore. I just have stopped wanting to communicate altogether with my husband. Please pray that God will heal us, I want the abuse to stop.
Thanks
I can identify with many women here, my story is similar to Tanya’s. I am tired of talking about it. To the point where I don’t want to ask for help or even talk about it because it is emotionally draining. Please lift me up in prayer. God bless You.
Hello all I am a victim of emotional abuse in this 6 year relationship still unmarried. I feel stupid but I took time and things slowly to allow a natural progression to marriage. I was single for years before this and do not fear being single, I’m just confused now. I know most of these forums are for the married couples however I have been looking for the path of marriage and thought I found this in this God fearing man. I feel like I am slowly falling apart and going crazy from the manipulation involved and the verbal attacks. I pray constantly and even send scripture in response to the insulting texts I get bearded with when I speak up. I have been pushed and my phone knocked from my hand in front of my children and I feared for my life at that time. I need advice on how to heal my spirit and heart. If this man is to become my husband God has to change him, if not please remove him so that the blessings of a husband may come my way.
I want out of my.marriage I can’t do it anymore were IFB Baptist and I know divorce is wrong we have four kids been married three years I don’t want to spend the rest of my life like this why would god ask me to I feel like I’m dying a little more each day inside I want to do what’s right I just don’t understand how to stay married to him and still survive spiritually
Hi Delia, I don’t know what your situation is but you should get some Christian counseling so that you know for sure the best decision to make for you and your children. Also, stay as close as possible to God and ask Him what His will is for you and your children where this marriage is concerned. Praying for you and God bless you.
I have been in an verbally and mentally absuive relationship for 14 years and I still cry every day. I am told that I’m crazy daily and it seems like every thing I say and do is wrong. If don’t do what he wants I am ridiculed if I do what he wants I am still ridiculed. I do know however that I am not worthless. I am not crazy and I am worth being loved. I am a child of God. But my spirit is weakening and I need prayer.
I need prayer. My husband emotionally abused me for the first ten-twelve years of our marriage, but I began to fight back at around year ten-eleven. He has tried to change, and is much better than he was. The problems are that I have a lot of trouble forgiving him or trusting him, and I have been very bitter, feeling I should have taken the children and left when it was going on. I keep thinking that I could have been in a much better situation with a good man by now. This is no doubt fantasizing, and my husband has been willing to change and has asked my forgiveness. We have been married 25 years shortly. I need a healing in my mind and a refreshing of my commitment to my marriage; forgiveness from the Lord as well for holding onto bitterness and awful memories. Please pray for me :-(. Thank you for the prayer above – I will pray it again.
Tania -I am in the same situation as you it seems. I could have written the same post. I am praying for you.
My daughter has been in an abusive marriage for 5 years. They have 2 children, under 5. Her husband has moved them 1000+ miles away from her family/community into his parents home. Oh and his father is a pastor. Now after counseling they’ve decided to divorce. Okay but she has no money to get started, he’s threatening to get full custody of the children etc. My daughter is working full time job. Please please pray for God to show her a way to leave this situation. She wants to move out but cannot get a housing voucher and I don’t have the money to support her. My husband and I have offered her and he children a place to live with us. No legal papers have been filed and she’s not a legal resident of the new state yet. Please join me in praying God’s leading and provision.
I am praying for your daughter and her family, also for you
My christian husband has been emotionally/verbally abusive for our entire 4 year marriage. Now he says that he doesn’t love me, and I am the biggest mistake he has ever made. Screams at me to get out of his house, and tells me that as far as he is concerned our marriage is over. He is always threatening divorce. I have gone to the elders of our church, but they do nothing. My husband is at church every time the doors are opened and he is allowed to serve in the youth ministry. I am run down and criticized, compared to other women constantly. Please pray for wisdom and discernment for me. I am weary….
Kelly I am praying. You are not alone. I have walked this road myself. I was in an abusive marriage for over 30 yrs and am dealing with it now with my daughter. I am praying over you as I pray over her. There is healing and there is hope and there is resolution in Christ.
I am asking for prayer for the courage and strength needed to leave my abuser for good. We are not married, which i know has caused a spiritual gap between my Lord and I. However, he is the father of my child and also a narcissist. I have tried many times to leave, but he always preys on my weaknesses and i gave in. But i need to follow through this time and ensure the life of my child and I is full of love and not chaos. Please keep my family and myself in your prayers. Thank you in advance and may God bless you.
I humbly ask for prayer to continue mu emotionally healing journey in Christ. Thank you very much.
Holding you up in prayer!! Keep praying & reading the Word of God!
Need additional prayers for healing for reasons that are included in this prayer above.
Thanks be to the Holy Trinity and to anyway be who prays for those of us who have suffered many traumas.
I am somebody, I will not be defeated by any bad word’s thrown at me or any form of attacks that the enemy wants me to believe, i am a child of God, he is my rock, my love, my salvation and i can do ANYTHING through him and NOTHING without him. I ask that you help me, protect me father from all evil that is around me, Please keep my kids Erik, Toni, Eddie and Joey safe and cover them with the blood of the lamb. I also ask that you change Charlie’s heart and help him during this difficult time with court and probation, let him see that with you ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE!!! thank you father, in Jesus name I pray. Amen