I ask for prayer for my marriage. I need a word of knowledge from the Holy Spirit. For the first time, since our trip to the Caribbean last year, my husband is missing his Spanish culture terribly. He’s always felt torn between two cultures, although he became an American citizen. In addition, several friends of his passed away last year before our trip. His relationship with his own family is estranged, and I believe he created a surrogate family abroad to replace what he’s lost, and fill his grief.
The only problem is that several people he met (one couple and two other women), seem to have taken precedent in our own marriage. We gave them charitable contributions, and enjoyed our trip, but now I feel we created a monster. He is corresponding with them way too often, and talks about them daily.
He misses their warmth and kindness, and feels disillusioned with the callousness of people he’s been in contact with over the years here. I too, enjoyed their hospitality and friendship, but we are home, and they are 1,300 miles away. We have been arguing a lot lately, and he becomes offended when I become impatient whenever he talks about his new friends. I try to comfort him and listen, but then I become irritated when he emails these people, especially these two women. I know it’s harmless and they always send their kind regards to me, but I feel it’s not appropriate as his wife.
He misses everyone so much, and even cries and wishes he can go back to see them. I would go again in hopes of him getting it out of his system, but that’s it for me.
I am a loving and understanding wife, and wait on him hand and foot. I am actually tired of doing everything, because the men in his family usually don’t do any housework. I know I can look more attractive, but I am worn out from doing everything and just began menopause.
I tried to learn some Spanish, and can make myself understood, but my graduate classes and school always consumed me. The thought of learning another language fluently always seemed so daunting. I just can’t make myself into a Latina, and be someone I am not. Both our families welcomed us when we were married 28 years ago. I never thought the differences would ever affect us like they are now.
Please pray that the Lord help us, and give me insight into how I can be a better wife. Thank you, Annemarie