New Family, and a Theater
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- April 28, 2020 at 3:14 pm #143706KellGuest
I just had a long dream last night. Unusually, I remembered all of it. I’m praying that the Spirit of Christ will provide an explanation of it. Here’s the dream…
I’d just been adopted. My new dad was sad cuz his dad just died. My new brother said he understood, but it was obvious he didn’t (it was kinda offensive). Dad poured some absinthe into a glass with ice (we each were going to have our own glass); it was to celebrate something (either my adoption or grandpa’s life). He told me I now had more responsibility, referring to my adoption into the family and how that made his dad my grandpa (there was a sense…a knowing…that in my becoming part of this new family, their griefs would become mine).
We’re in a theater. We’re about to go in to see a movie about a black man (a businessman? a lawyer?). I’m with my immediate biological family. We go in, me first, looking for a set of 4 seats in a row (there’s 4 of us). There are a lot of people. It’s a weird theater, with an odd and small screen, but a huge mirror on a side wall to reflect the movie closer to typical size; a lot of the seats faced that wall.
My new adoptive dad and brother are there too. I believe it would be encouraging if I sat with them, and I believe New-Dad will be somewhat disappointed if I don’t, but I also believe that I should spend this last event with my biological family (since I’m leaving them), so I choose them.
I need to go to the bathroom (urinate). The toilet is in the lobby. It’s in a cubby by itself; not exposed, but I can see thru the walls. I urinate a LOT! (The stream is powerful and clear, like when I’ve fasted and drunk a lot of water.) I keep finishing up, then needing to urinate more. I’m worried I’ll miss the film. My sister texts me, wondering where I am, and warning me that the film is starting.
The manager of the theater calls a meeting of his employees. I finish up at the toilet. But I pull my underwear up (which are colorful briefs) on the outside of my pants!! They see me, and I acknowledge it was a mistake, but play it up like a joke, as if I’m a superhero. We all laugh. No one seems to be mocking. I mention my life right now (how well I’m doing), and one of the girls’ comments leads perfectly into me telling that them that Jesus is the reason I’m so free. She’s uncomfortable with that. She tries to break conversation with me, but is too “polite” to just say it; but I have to keep talking in order to keep her attention, and she’s obviously not focusing on what I’m saying.
I go back to the bathroom to change. I’m missing the movie and am very anxious about it. My boots are covered in… dried paint? They’re white, when they shouldn’t be. (It’s a very passing, almost forgotten detail.) I think of pulling my pants off over my boots to save time, but I know it won’t work. Oddly, I’m wearing 2 pants: jeans over a black corduroy (which I own in real life; I found it at a Goodwill, pre-worn and thus pre-shrunk; it’s the only pant I’ve ever found that fits me so perfectly it’s like it was tailored to my body!).
When I get out, an Asian-American man points me to the exit at the end of the hall (which open to the street), cuz it’s …late? Something seems wrong. It’s sorta expected for everyone to be making their way out (theater is closing for the night?). Someone mentions that only one movie is showing at the moment. That must be the film my families are watching, and I try to go there, but now I’m in a huge waiting room for whats like a doctor’s office/urgent care/hospital/where I got my passport? I panic, looking for the way back to my families and the film!!! The bathroom is now an elevator (it looks nothing like an elevator) and I wonder if I’d switched floors. The building is the same building, but the layout seems all wrong. I begin to cry, grabbing my head and feeling totally lost and frustrated and hopeless like I’ve missed the movie.
That’s when I woke up.
- April 30, 2020 at 7:26 pm #144226Emanuel EliakimGuest
I think that, from what I understand, it looks like you are going through a transition, spiritually, from one track to another, it’s a smooth transition but for some reason the person in the dream is distracted which could cause delays, you should focus on remaining where you currently are, without thinking too much of the change (if you feel it is imminent) and accept that it will just go into place when it does. But yeah don’t worry about who you’re surrounded with now and what might happen next, you just have to stay put and trust Him for guidance. Stay strong in what you believe in and no thing can bring harm to you or hurt you, God bless!
- May 4, 2020 at 9:45 pm #145252KellGuest
Thanks for the reply, Emanuel!! It’s very comforting.
You’re also spot on. I’ve been waiting and searching for what God has promised me, and I’ve been having a bunch of dreams about transition (e.g. airports; a nondescript terminal for transport). Those are more obvious dreams. This one wasn’t.
I get very anxious/worried/tormented about this. Very distracted. You echo what others have told me (prophetically, which my spirit has confirmed). “It’s coming. It’ll fall into place. Don’t focus on it so much.”
This is a very painful season. I spend so many days in my room, just waiting, having no direction for what to do. The torment of the terror that rises up in me is… close to unbearable. Worse, I’m very alone. What God has promised is family (fathers and brothers; I could interpret that part of this dream easily), so it’s not like the solution is to go find family. That’s what’s coming. But the wait, with little to no direction (posting the dream here was something I realized I could do; but I don’t know much else) is a waking nightmare.