15 years of self inflicted pain, NOW HEALED

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      I give God all the glory because He showed up and showed off during and after the 2024 fast.

      For once I did not focus on the type of food available or what I couldn’t afford because I realized food can become an idol because sometimes we focus too much on whether we can afford a particular food item or not. We focus on what will I break my fast with? Is this ok? Is that ok?

      Fast forward to my aha testimony PART 1

      I was believing God for a divorce from a marriage of convenience that I entered into 15 years ago inorder to relocate to Europe. Everyone around me was doing it and I saw no harm in doing it. (Yes I was a beleiver then. I knew it was wrong. I still went ahead and did it without my family’s knowledge) The pressure to succeed was too much!

      Anyway after 3 years, the marriage ended up being dissolved abroad due to irreconcilable differences and my residence permit was revoked and I had to come back home
      (God cannot be mocked! This was such a season of shame for me because I had to return to my parents house, broke, single, depressed and with no plan)

      Since we were married under Kenyan Law, the marriage was still recognized as valid and I was still legally married to this person.

      I was still in a covenant with him whether he was absent physically or not and I had no idea how to come out of this arrangement.

      As life would have it, I swept it under the rug and decided to forget about it until years later I realized there’s a problem.

      Why I’m I not getting married?
      Why I’m I attracting the same kind of people all over again?
      Nothing I did succeeded.
      There was a pattern that needed to be broken.

      I honestly never knew the consequences of entering into an ungodly covenant.
      For 15 years I was not able to be in a fruitful relationship or get married!

      I blamed it on generational curses until I realized I had messed myself up when I entered into this marriage.
      I had exchanged vows and this was what was holding me captive!

      The Holy Spirit in 2023 confirmed and revealed that I was still married and that I needed to get a legal divorce.

      I had never been in contact with the ‘contract’ spouse since I relocated back to Kenya and I didn’t know where to start my paper trail.
      This was such a huge mountain for me. The Lord then started to order my steps and led me to a childhood friend who is a lawyer and she agreed to help me file for a divorce on pro Bono as it would have costed me more than 1000$ on lawyer’s fees.
      I continued to trust God that we will track the man down and serve him the divorce papers. From Kenya to Europe!

      After days of waiting come 2024, I was led and started again searching online for any clues on his whereabouts. This was like searching for a needle in the haystack because he was not active on any social media platforms.

      The only last news about him was in 2021 during the pandemic.I almost gave up because when I relocated back home I had foolishly deleted all records of communication!

      I couldn’t even remember his home address unless his embassy in Kenya could help me which they said it’s not possible I should enquire from abroad.
      During the fast, 1 day I searched online for the family name and the address and a phone number comes up!
      I called the number and there was no response.
      I tried for 3 days and finally the mother picks up the phone.
      I introduced myself and she immediately remembered me!

      I tell her I’m looking for so and so to sign my divorce papers and she tells me you have no clue that so and so died in December 2022?

      I was shocked and short of words. As much as we never agreed on many things he didn’t deserve such a horrible exit.
      He died a very painful death in a fire accident in a country where he had relocated with his girlfriend.
      His body was burnt beyond recognition and he couldn’t even be buried back in his home country.
      Was he a beleiver? Sadly no.

      I managed to get his death certificate and gave it as evidence that the respondent to the divorce proceeding is no more.

      It’s taken me 15 years of going round the same mountain of having no clue that what I did had such painful consequences.
      This ‘contract’ marriage costed me my health physically, emotionally and spiritually that I would not wish the same for anyone.

      It is best to wait on God because in His right time He will do it.

      Now I feel a yoke has been broken off me and I’m looking forward to what The Lord will do in the completion of His will in my life.

      To God be the Glory

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