I’ve been having dreams of past men I’ve been in relationship with, or had an interest in. Two separate dreams on two separate nights, within about a week, during this season of fasting from relationships because I’ve realized I get too physically intimate in them and want to have more integrity for my sexuality and future marriage.
My dreams with these two men didn’t have too much context in them that was super important, but in both dreams, both men revealed that they are gay or bisexual and/or in an active relationship with another man. I feel this plays on one of my fears that I will marry someone that will reveal years into our marriage that he is gay.
Important to note is that my high school best (girl) friend came out gay our freshman year of high school.
So, my fear might be related to this that someone so close to me could turn against their faith, and the people closest to them. Or, it could be this dark spirit that is holding people captive to deep, sexual sin.
Also important to note, is that one of them men I dreamed about (the one I did date), as well as my last boyfriend (who I haven’t dreamed about yet) both revealed that they would, if given the opportunity, sleep with a man. They consider sex to be just sex, physical enjoyment of some sort, and therefore why not have that intimacy with a man? It wasn’t a point of contention in either relationship, because neither lasted long and it was actually quite a turn off to hear them reveal that. But, then I question if I just attract men who are like that? Do I have some secret sin that I’m unaware of? Is God actually telling me something about relationships in a larger picture (i.e. right now they are off limits)?
After both dreams I remember waking up ambivalent. Not super reactionary to either, sort of knowing, but not at peace with it either.
Does anyone have any idea what this could be about?