Help me, I need God to break my heart open. There has been a Godly man more wonderful than words that God has brought into my life. But I keep shutting him out because of the pain from my childhood and my parents current broken marriage. Because of financial hardship I live with them. This skews my picture of marriage. I felt responsible for their marriage and wrongly vowed to not have a relationship of my own until my parents were reconciled. I want to let him in but I don’t how. Some people grow up feeling that marriage is a beautiful protective bond. I grew up fearing being chosen. Seeing marriage as slavery. I was manipulated and verbally and sexually abused. I have trouble letting God into the pain. God confirmed to me this is the pain that is in the way. I have gotten out of town for 4 days before Easter and I am praying God will do a miracle!!