First all I’m so sorry to hear about how your own mother abused you. It must have been so hard to go through that experience. You are brave, strong and humble to ask for help and I know that’s God healing is available for you specifically. May you feel wrapped in God’s loving.
I have prayed for you and alongside the prayers you requested for, I would like to ask you to take Three (3) ACTION steps that will give God room to bring forth your healing speedily as the Bible says.
1. Number ONE, read a Christian book written by a Christian who went through sexual abuse and overcame it. I recommend a book by Joyce Meyer called Beauty For Ashes. In the book she goes into detail and shows the steps of how she recovered. Joyce Meyer was raped by her father over 100 times and he even took her to a graveyard once intending to rape her but a policeman came by and that made them have to leave. If God could heal her and today give her a beautiful life and help her to fulfill her destiny, why can’t God do the same for you? Read on a minimum of 3 different books on Christians who have overcome sexual abuse or incest. Google and check your local library for such books.
2. Number TWO, take an online class or course that walks you through healing from sexual abuse. There are free ones as well. Google. Pray to God to lead you to the right course for sexual abuse survivors and take the classes. It will help you to meet with other women who are healing from same sexual abuse. Make sure it is a Godly and Christian group. Google to see if any churches or Christian ministries in your town/city have sexual abuse survivors meetings. Having that community will help you heal fasting. I recommend Nothing Hidden Ministries, Google them.
3. And Number THREE finally, separate yourself and take out time to FAST and PRAY. I recommend 21 days. For God to help you heal. You also have to do the spiritual work, I know it can feel hard when you’re hurting but you have to break the wounds, curse and hurt of rape of your life. Google “Prayers & Scriptures for Survivors of Sexual Abuse” and pray them every day of your fast until you feel a liberty and peace in your heart.
I belive you can do all this, I belive you can heal, and we may not meet on earth but I hope to meet you in heaven and hear about how God completely healed you from this trauma and gave you a beautiful life of your dreams. Don’t give up. Just put your trust in God and take action. 💕