I have never personally experienced this struggle, but my heart goes out to you. Please try to remember Hebrews 13:5 “God will never leave you nor forsake you.” And also Proverbs 3:5 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart.” Please continue to hold onto His timing, His strength, His promises and His love for you. And please remember it’s on His time, not our own. I pray that you will feel comfort as you endure the painful process of waiting. God loves you and he knows your heart and your wishes.